Posted by: gourdshaped | November 1, 2009

Halloween: The Aftermath.

Well, it’s 4:30 am, which feels like 5:30 because it was until I changed the clocks back half an hour ago. Damn Daylight Savings Time!

We had our first Halloween in the new house last night. It got off to a sort of rocky start. For starters, we weren’t sure how much candy we were supposed to get – we’d only bought two large bags of Kit Kats and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and quite honestly, we’d tucked into both of them pretty hard by 4:00 pm. After much debate, we motored over to our neighborhood Rite-Aid and bought three more bags – Skittles, M&Ms, and a 99 cent bag of lollipops we threw in on a whim.

At 5:00, we turned on the porch light. And no one showed. There was a big gathering down the street which we were not invited to, and didn’t venture down to see because of the Yes on 1 signs, but it was a big draw – someone was cooking hot dogs, and there was a boom box of some sort. Fancy.

By 5:10, trick-or-treater-less, J had declared it officially the saddest Halloween ever and retired upstairs to use the computer. While he did that, I re-evaluated our set-up, and turned on two more lights, so that the trick-or-treaters wouldn’t be walking onto a dark porch facing into a dark house.

By 5:15, they had landed.

They traveled in packs, herded along by happy, already tired-looking parents. And they. Loved. J. Me, not so much – perhaps it was the skull T-shirt I’d chosen, or the fact that, to pre-schoolers, I look like Lurch from the Addams family, even without the suit. One little girl I absolutely could not cajole into taking candy at all; her dad (in full drag) had to take it for her. But they all clamored for J, who wished each and every one of them a Happy Halloween and meant it.

Those lollipops? Like crack cocaine for the under-5s in our neighborhood. Note for next year.

The cats were amusing throughout. Isabelle was having none of it; she hid upstairs all night. Josephine, though – Josephine greeted every single trick-or-treater at the door, as though they were gentleman callers and she the Blanche DuBois of the block. Perhaps a little too much like Blanche – she was a little high and crazed on company by the end of it. I found her hiding next to one of the stereo speakers, ready to jump out at the next knock on the door.

By 6:15, we were out of candy. And there were still swarms of children out there. Swarms. We hunkered down in the safety of our turned-off porch light, and ate calzone (and our horded stash of Halloween candy – HAHA children, we weren’t out of lollipops at all!) and watched Elvira: Mistress of the Dark until it was time for bed. I think we lucked out with the weather, because by 10 o’clock (prime hooliganism time, and there were a lot of hooligans in the area) it was pouring outside. Hard to light your flaming bags of poo in a rainstorm. Thanks to that, and also to an incredibly bright flood light on the neighbors’ garage, we seem to be toilet paper- and egg-free this morning.  Bonus!

Our first Halloween in our first home – unqualified success.

So. Today I’m starting the NaNo novel. I’ll try to keep consistent with the blog, even though I don’t have much to say. I’ll try to abstain from talking about writing, word counts, and how much I hate things. I only say I’ll try.

Posted by: gourdshaped | October 18, 2009

Exploring the local signage.

Three new ‘No on 1′ signs have cropped up like late daisies on my morning constitutional, which I’ve started taking again now that I’ve been able to dig out a winter coat and hat. For the record, that makes five ‘Yes on 1′ signs and three ‘No on 1′ signs on my route. Bringing the town totals (from my observation) to twelve ‘Yes’ and six ‘No’.

It wouldn’t be looking good for us in our town, except we noticed on our meanderings yesterday that a bunch of ‘Yes’ signs were knocked down during the night. I’d like to think that’s the universe talking, but it’s probably just some local vandals or strong winds. As long as no one from down the street comes knocking on my door making accusations, I’m content just to watch.

I did notice that the ‘No on 1′ signs are oddly-spaced. As though someone had six signs, 20 minutes to stick them in the ground, and only three places to put them. This is probably not far from the truth. So, there are three signs about ten feet from each other on Main Street as you leave town (just past the graveyard), two about 100′ from each other crossing the bridge, and one lonely sign in front of the ‘Welcome to Lisbon’ sign.

Also, I have a slight problem with the sign design. Mostly, it’s that they’re hard to read from a car (if that’s where you’re putting them, and why you’re putting them there). I do like, however, how calm and green they look (although, in the case of our town signs, they seem…hastily put-together; staples and tape, anyone?).

Anyway. I try not to pay too much attention to them in general. I’m pretty much just happy they’re there. I’m hopeful, but I have realistic expectations of things. That’s probably the lack of decent coffee talking.

I have a dream, a recurring dream, and that dream is to own an Apple-brand computing device. Both of you probably know this. I like them, I like using them, and I’m sure that J is tired of hearing me talk about them, and quite honestly would like me to shut up about them. So, I am currently in the planning stages of getting said device. Early planning stages. Very early. The plan, as it stands right now:

1) Get a great deal of money.

2) Buy Apple-brand computing device.

The details are a little hazy. I’ve been brainstorming various ways to get some money, none of which seems terribly palatable or effective right now. One of many downsides to being a poor but proud homeowner is that every money decision you make is up against “Or I could put it toward the house” or “what if I suddenly need a kidney” Or “setting aside over $1000 for yourself is selfish when there are kittens to feed and your significant other refuses to buy new socks, even.” *sigh* Adulthoodness.

So. As I say, I’m working on it. Perhaps I can find that much cash under the seats in my car. I do tend to drop a lot of nickels in there. Also – there’s no snow on the ground, so my lemonade stand idea is still an option. Maybe pumpkin-ade?

Or I could just go back to whoring for a while. I’m sure I haven’t forgotten much. Just need to find those boots again.

Posted by: gourdshaped | October 12, 2009

Monday morning blah-de-blah.

Incredibly sinus-y this weekend. It made cleaning out our vents yesterday extra-special. But, at least the house doesn’t smell like hot cat when you turn the heat on. Unless we’re just used to the house smelling like hot cat. These are questions to which we may never know the answers.

Finished the afghan yesterday afternoon. And by ‘finished,’ I of course mean ‘ran myself out of yarn, so I’m done.’ I’m fine with that. It’s a good-sized lap quilt. It would be almost bed-sized if you didn’t need it to cover your pillows.

Next project is probably going to be turning old t-shirts into cleaning rags and/or the quilting project I’ve been doing for two years now. I just need to find a space to do that.

Since we’ve finished our tasks for the weekend, not a whole lot planned for today. I made bread yesterday – I may turn some old, gross rice into new, not-gross soup fodder this morning, assuming I can haul myself up off my butt to go do something. There’s a cat on me right now though, so I’ll pretty much be here until she starts stinkin’ up the joint.

…whoop. There we go. Damn, cat!

Posted by: gourdshaped | October 11, 2009

Explained: Why we didn’t get invites to the cookout.

Ech. No fewer than three ‘Yes on 1″ signs have popped up on our block this week. It’s taking everything in my increasingly shallow pool of reserve to not run out and do something to them (the signs) with a baseball bat. Thankfully, I’m in my PJs, and I don’t know where we keep our baseball bat. It kind of makes me wonder how long a ‘No on 1′ sign would stay put if we had one. Which we don’t, because I don’t like scraping rain-damp toilet paper out of the hedges.

What kind of neighborhood did I move us to?

BTW, I’m currently certain the gay marriage law is going to be overturned. No matter how strong our argument is, I’m afraid the  majority of my fellow residents is reactionary, ultra-conservative for no good reason, disappointing, and profoundly stupid. That last is mean of me, I know, but still – not incorrect.

Not you, of course. You’re great.

No reason to believe any of this other than 32 years of experience living here. You don’t cultivate this level of pessimism for nothing, you know.

Anyway. Off to consider what kind of Halloween candy you purchase when a majority of your trick-or-treaters are going to issue from your enemy’s house. ‘Bit O’ Honey?’ or ‘Squirrel Nut?’ Which hurts more when you huck it at people?

Gross. This coffee tastes like cigarettes.

Took the morning off from my usual 3-mile uphill jaunt because I woke up later than usual, didn’t sleep at all well, and when I exited the bedroom, I was able to detect the unmistakable odor of skunk-du-jour. The last thing I need is to go for a walk and come back smellin’ all skunky and crap. I smell bad enough as it is.

Isabelle (pictured above) is extra-needy this morning for some reason. I think it probably has something to do with being cold. And lonely. When I shut the study door, she started yipping and crying as though she were alone in the wilderness, in the rain, with no one to love her. Now she’s mostly quiet on my lap, and helping me type this, which is why it’s taken me 6 minutes to do just this much post. Well, that and she keeps randomly getting up and working the mouse with her butt. I’d make her get down, but it’s still adorable.

Back at work this week, and it’s worse than I remembered.  I started the week full of energy and excitement, and am now running on fumes, caffeine, and disappointment again, and oh yeah, my head is yet again all stuffed up into my ears. That’s all I have to say on that.

I’ve been working on the afghan this week, and will probably have it finished this weekend, assuming I keep at it, which I know is asking a lot from me. I’ve no idea how big it’s gotten, as I haven’t really unfurled it in quite a while. Hopefully it’s already bed-sized, and I don’t need to go get another gigantic skein of yarn. My carpal tunnels are already creaking as it is.

After that’s done, I of course will be starting the pastel Hello Kitty/Monkey quilt. It’s going to be hella sophisticated. Hella sophisticated.

Aw. Kitty is snoring. She’s going to be so disappointed in a minute.

Posted by: gourdshaped | October 4, 2009

Cloudy day, bright kitchen.

Our kitchen, as it stands right now:

Yup. Pretty orange.

Whoops. Better do something with those bananas.

No, we didn’t edge everything in blue – the tape is still up, because we’ve still got some light touch-up work to do today. We really like it. It makes the cupboards look not so disgusting (although they do need a fresh coat of white as well) and it really really brightened up the room.

My vacation comes to a close today. I’m extremely sad about it. For one thing, I feel like I got a lot done this week, even though I don’t know, technically, that I did. I know I played a lot of video game (Elder Scrolls) and I did some laundry and things – I didn’t really set an agenda like I meant to do, and I think that’s probably for the best. This morning I’ll be cooking and cleaning and things, and we’ll be climbing the counters one last time to get orange paint where it needs to go in the corners. I feel rested, but I don’t feel ready to go back yet.

Tomorrow, though, back to the routine. Actually, not the exact routine, because I’m going back to my ‘late night’ at work, so not only will I be far behind all day, but my evenings will be truncated, and I’ll be dead tired at night. Ecch. Also, work pants again. And button-up shirts. And bag lunches. And that damned phone.

All right. Time to see what I can do to make some of that less unpleasant to think about. Perhaps baked goods?

Posted by: gourdshaped | September 24, 2009

Big Plans.

It’s almost vacation time again! Yes, it’s been…almost six months (feels like nine) since I’ve had a full-out, non-stop, week-long vacation experience, and if you think I’m not counting this one down, out loud, you’re sadly mistaken. Sadly.

I’ve already started the celebration this morning by (1) not going out for a walk, and (2) making the conscious decision to leave the house 30 minutes later than I normally would. That’s right – I’m planning to get to work ‘on time’ rather than ‘45 minutes early’. Forever. We’ll see how that goes today; I’m pretty excited about the extra leisure time (which I’ll use for dishes, let’s be frank), but not enthusiastic about the kind of traffic I’m going to run into.

Also exciting – the big projects we’re planning to get done this holiday season:

1. Paint the kitchen! I think we’ve settled on ‘Burning Orange’, which is not as psychotically orange as you might suspect. We’re purposely toning down the color, because we’re going to be painting whole walls rather than half-walls as we’ve done in the past. I think it will look nice. Hopefully.

2. Install a sliding shower/tub door. This may end our relationship faster than an affair, but at least we won’ t have to deal with a shower curtain anymore (stupid updrafts!).

3. Get new tires for my car, maybe! Ones that don’t always read overinflated when they’re quite obviously underinflated. And maybe are good for snow travel. At the very least, I’ll be getting my oil changed.

And other exciting changes to come! But for right now, time to shower and otherwise get ready for my slog of a Thursday.

Posted by: gourdshaped | September 13, 2009

Mistakes Were Made.

In rough shape this weekend, thanks in large part to a week that went a little something like this:

1. Monday, 6:30 pm: ‘Screw the 1/2 caf – I want full-on caffeine this week.’

2. Tuesday – Friday, 6:00 am: ‘Breakfast? Oh well. I can wait until lunch.’

3. Wednesday – Friday, 11:30 am: ‘Why not a Pepsi with lunch? I’ve got quarters for the machine.’

4. Wednesday – Friday, noon: ‘Ooh! I’ve got money for a Snickers!’

5. Wednesday, 5:15 pm: ‘I forgot how good peanut butter is.’ (spoon clatters in sink)

6. Wednesday, 7:00 pm: ‘And wine.’

7. Wednesday, 8:00 pm: ‘And chocolate.’

8. Thursday, 8:00 pm: (slurring) ‘…and wine and chocolate!’

9. ‘Why don’t we cap this week off with a big ol’ greasy mushroom pizza and potato chips? Huh? Pour me some wine.’ (stomach begins grumbling here).

There’s got to be a morning after. Yesterday, I spent the day with grouchy insides, wanting mostly to die and/or hurt people. Today, we’re back at 1/6 caf, and anticipating a low-grade headache for most of the morning. And we’re definitely not eating anything that we’re going to regret later. Because we’re back on the wagon. The boring food wagon.

Posted by: gourdshaped | August 30, 2009

Saturday: Look Back in ‘Eh.’

Saturday turned out to be a big day for not getting a whole lot done. Or, rather, for getting a few very specific things done.

In the morning, we braved the remains of Tropical Depression Danny to go to the old apartment in Portland for a clean-up/pack-up session. Was there some announcement in the papers that told people that there would be low visibility on the interstate, so please pass my car as closely as possible and also brake suddenly and often? ‘Cause I seem to have missed that one. It was a fairly tense, vaguely treacherous ride, during which I used the F-word a lot. A lot lot.

I worked in our old bedroom, gathering and compiling empty boxes, and taking down artwork, while J and his mom worked in the garage. Also, I did some vacuuming, ’cause that room was a mess. It gave me a rash, it was that dusty. Not like our nice, clean home now *surreptitiously scratches upper arm*.

By the time we were back, it was noon and still raining. Later in the afternoon, I managed to get a big, chunky sliver under the nail of my right middle finger. OUCH is right! Turns out our old, wooden doors are out to get me. So, yeah, I spent 10 minutes intermittently cursing and trying to dig that out with three different sets of tweezers – it still hurts a little bit, but I’m able to type at least.

Much cursing and an awkwardly-applied Band-Aid later, we took a quick trip to Target, which apparently is where everyone within a 10-mile radius of the Target decided to be, because that place was mobbed. Or, at least, the parking lot was. Inside: not so bad. Everyone was there for the Back-to-School Savings, I would imagine, although I didn’t see any exceptional deals, and all the Hello Kitty backpacks were gone (or at least they appeared to be; I’m not allowed to linger in school supplies until I use all 20 of the spiral-bound notebooks I bought four years ago…only 18 to go!).

I bought underpants, you’ll be pleased to learn; please adjust your steamy mental images of me accordingly. I bought a 4-pack in black and gray, because apparently gentlemen of my waist size need not draw attention to their nether regions with vibrant color. Or something. Sometimes, ‘S’s and ‘L’s get all the luck, while we late-arriving ‘M’s get the sad, dusty leftovers.

Then we came home, and I made soup for two hours. Yes. Two hours’ worth of soup-making on a Saturday night; that’s why they call me ‘Good Time Charlie’. It didn’t even turn out to be very good soup; it was merely adequate soup/stew, because most of the liquid in it was either absorbed by the pasta I put in it, or boiled off. It’s hearty, to say the least. And there is a TON of it. I’m kind of wondering what to do with all the soup – I may just end up putting the Tupperware container out on the lawn, in the hopes that hoboes and transients will wander by in search of a merely adequate meal. Or skunks. I’d put it on the flowers as fertilizer, but I’m afraid they would be unimpressed to death.

Skipped the morning walk this morning because I don’t have clean socks to wear (THIS IS A VALID REASON), and also, sinus madness, possibly allergy-related, possibly a change-of-season cold coming on; I’m quite sure my hair acted as a filtration device… and now it’s gone. Perhaps I can grow out my eyebrows and nostril hairs to compensate. At any rate, I’m feeling sneezy and full-headed, and I’m not planning on getting a whole lot done today, so everyone can just back off.

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